Sharpen the Weight Loss Edge Once Again

It has been a while since I posted to this blog. My last post was about my eating experience during my husband's health crisis.  I was able to walk through that difficult time without the stress induced overeating that has been characteristic of my life.  I am so thankful that I was able to emerge from that challenging experience maintaining my conscious eating dietary style.

Since that time, however, I lost some of my edge.  I have not gained weight, but I haven't lost any either.  I've stalled out at a certain weight and been there for about three months. 

I've been thinking about why this may be and decided on one main reason.

Instead of 'eating only till I was full', I began putting on my plate the amount of food I thought I would need to eat.  Then I would continue to eat till it was gone, letting that be my signal for ending my meal rather than the 'full feeling' signal that has been my guide for several months.

I lost sight of the main reason for my success with losing weight thus far.  I took my eyes off the key requirement to conscious eating - paying attention to the full feeling that comes when I eat and letting that be my cue, my signal for ending my meal. 

So I have resolved once again to 'sharpen my edge', and get back into the weight loss battle. One snack, one meal, one day at a time.

No Stress Eating Here....Not This Time!

It has been a few weeks since I last posted.  All is still going well with me, but my husband has been through some difficult and somewhat scary medical situations.  He is fine now, well, almost fine. Soon he will be back up to speed and probably even better than before everything went awry.

A medical crisis for my husband meant a huge amount of stress for me.  When I began this style of eating (conscious eating; stopping when I get full), I wondered if I would be able to maintain it during times of crisis, because historically I have been a huge stress eater.  I would eat everything I could to deal with stress and emotion.  The buzz phrase right now is "eating my feelings". Yep. That would be me. So, how would I handle conscious eating when my stress hormones and emotions are through the roof?

Well, good news. I had no problems, well, almost no problems, eating consciously during this time.  I simply ate till I was full then stopped.  The difficult time came between meals, because I would want to nibble even though I wasn't hungry.  I remember one day when I went to the kitchen pantry, opened the door and stood there about to reach for 'nibbling' food.  I had to say to myself in a rather firm mental voice, "Get out of the kitchen. You are not hungry!"  Yep. And it worked. I left the kitchen and didn't return till it was time to prepare the next meal.

This is working for me. Every day. In every way.  I plan to continue.  Till next time, friends, Remember, if you are full, stop eating. Save the left overs for another meal, or throw them in the trash!

Big plate vs. Small Plate

I have read many articles/books over the years on the topic of weight loss. Some were technical, almost scientific in the presentation of its information. Others were more relaxed and informal in style and syntax. Most contained, in addition to whatever diet plan it was sharing, tips, hacks, if you will, about how to make dieting seem easier.

One of the tips/hacks often mentioned is to use small plates and bowls when eating. Smaller dishes give the impression that the portions of food on them appear larger than they would on larger dishes. That way you will believe that you’re eating more food than you actually are.

And that is fine unless you are at a church dinner, for example, where only large plates are available. If you are not supplying your own small dishes, then you are staring at a large plate with a small amount of food on it.

I have though about this dilemma several times and come to this conclusion. I will always use regular sizes, not small, plates and bowls for my personal dining on a daily basis. There is no point in coddling/deceiving myself into thinking that I have larger portions on my plate than I do.   I have gotten used to looking at small portions on a regular sized plate and in a regular sized bowl, and it no longer bothers me. I can finish my ‘tiny’ portions, and if I’m full, then my meal is over.

I encourage each of us, to be strong.  Look at things as they are. It is not necessary to make ourselves feel better by looking at small dishes with small portions on them. Come on. We can handle this. Let’s just do it.

The Challenges and Rewards Continue.....

My husband and I went out to eat last night. We don't eat out often, so this was a real treat for us.  We went to an Italian restaurant; a place we had never been.  The food was delicious. I ordered veal toscana, which is veal with vegetables smothered in an unbelievably delicious sauce over angel hair spaghetti. The portion size was quite large.  Our meal also came with yummy, yummy, yummy garlic yeast rolls.  Oh my.  What's a girl to do? So much wonderful food. So little room in my tummy. 

I decided to eat slowly, enjoying every bite. It didn't take long. I began to feel full after having eaten only about a quarter of my meal.  Everything within me wanted to keep eating, and truthfully, I did take four or five bites too much, before I was able to 'wrestle' my desires to eat anyway to the ground and ask for a carry out container.

I had to make myself think about the fact that this succulent meal will taste just a good for lunch today as it did last night.  In fact, it will taste better because I won't be full while I'm eating it.  There is enough food left from me to have about 3 more meals. Yum!!!!

Mental gymnastics.  That's it.  It's all about how I allow things food related to be framed in my mind.  I think this is one of the major components to food control in our lives. Anyway I made it through another challenging moment and have delicious leftovers today as a reward!

No One. Not One Single Person Has Noticed That I Have Lost Weight!

That's right. I'm almost 23 pounds down now and no one has commented on my weight loss, well, except my wonderful husband.  He's been great.  However, you'd think that someone else might notice!  Is anyone with me on this? Are you having the same experience/frustration?

The truth is though that I'm not frustrated about it. I'm aware of it, of course, but not upset or even surprised.

First of all, people are involved in their own lives. Yes, that makes us sound very self centered and self focused, and it's true.  We're not always quickly aware of changes in the lives of our friends and even family, unless those changes are very noticeable or significant, which brings me to my second point.

Secondly, the more weight you have to lose, the more more you have to lose before it become noticeable to other people. Yes, I wrote that right.  Because I my current weight loss only lost about a third of my goal, it is not great enough right now for friends and family to notice.

Thirdly, That's really ok.  I have decided to not let it bother me, because I know that one day my weight loss will be obvious enough that everyone who knows me, because I'll look great.  You see, the truth is that every five pounds of weight loss will show more that the five pounds before it.  So I'm just weighting (waiting).  In the meantime. I'm feeling better and enjoying wearing clothes that I knew were too tight just a couple of weeks ago.

So take heart, my fellow weight loss travelers.  Our affirmation does not ultimately come from others anyway.  It comes from within ourselves, because we know, we know, we know that we are on the right path and our rewards are personal.  No one else is responsible for them.  Let's keep on traveling!

The Weight Loss Continues

Life is a series of 'ups' and 'downs' with periods of 'evenness' in between.  That's just the way it is. Nothing we can do about it, and nothing we can do to change it.  Except for the problems that arise as consequences from poor decision making on our part, the only thing we have control over is the way we react to the 'ups' and 'downs'.  It is our reactions, our responses to these 'ups' and 'downs' that can, for some of us, influence our diets and eating patterns.

I am working on separating my desire to eat from my feelings.  There have been times when I find myself walking into the kitchen to get something to eat, knowing that I'm not hungry because it's only been and 'hour' since I had a meal.  That's not hunger, that's a response to feelings. Permanent weight loss will be impossible for me as long as I'm 'eating my feelings'.

Fortunately these last few weeks.....so far....every time I'm about to get something to eat, just because I'm 'feeling' it, I have stopped myself from indulging and turned around and walked out of the kitchen.

Therefore, the weight loss continues!!!!! Yea, me!!!!!

This War is Not Won in a Day, a Week, or Even a Lifetime, But It Is Worth Fighting

There are some problems that are easily solvable. You can flip a switch, replace a valve, write a letter, make a phone call, or any number of easily done things, and boom; that problem is solved. Some problems/challenges/wars are harder to solve and take longer to get the job done. Those might require a series of battles that have to be met head-on and dealt with on a number of occasions. These might include health issues, relationship issues, as well as work issues or a variety of problems.

Those of us who have weight issues have a different sort of problem.  This type of challenge is more akin to drug and alcohol addiction than anything else, in my opinion.  This problem/war lasts a lifetime and is never, ever won.  However, please do not be discouraged.  It is a war worth fighting.  Getting control of my eating approximately 3 months ago has made a huge difference in the way I feel, as well as the way I now view food. It has also altered my eating habits.

I realize that eating like a thin person might one day make me a thin person.  Won't that be awesome! I further realize that if I quit eating like a thin person, I will never, ever have a chance of being thin. 

If anyone reading this blog, (and I thank you for being one of my readers) can relate to my food battles, please take heart.  This takes work. No one can force you into anything when it comes to food.  You must decide for yourself and for your own reasons.  Please consider stepping into the eating world of thin people.  Eat what you want, but eat only when you are hungry, and eat only till you feel full.  That's it!

Too Stressed to Eat? I Wish!

I have a precious friend who is one of those naturally thin people. Always has been. Always will be.  Naturally thin.  We were talking about stress one day, and I shared with her the problem I have always had with overeating when I'm stressed or when I've been through something traumatic like the death of a family member.  I remember quite well her reply, "Oh, not me.  When I get stressed, I can't eat." Really. Too stressed to eat.  What a concept! When I get stressed, I want a hamburger, no, a bacon cheeseburger.  Who's with me on this?

I was reminded of our conversation a couple of days ago. In the middle of the afternoon I found myself in the kitchen looking for something to eat.  I'm only allowing myself to eat certain things for snacks between meals. A handful of nuts, a banana, or an apple.  On this day I didn't want any of those things, and I really wasn't hungry.  It had not been long since I had eaten, and I knew hunger was not the reason I was in the kitchen.  I was just stressed for some reason.  I was feeling the stress, not hunger.

This has been a dilemma all my life. I have covered it in previous posts from an emotional angle. I've heard it described as 'eating my feelings'. Obviously as a 'conscious eater' I can't be governed by my feelings when I eat.  I must be guided and controlled simply by whether or not I am truly hungry. 

As I have written about these challenges that are ever present, serving as pot holes and speed bumps on my weight loss journey, I have also tried to write about a strategy that I plan to implement to assist me in dodging these obstacles.  My strategy for this dilemma of the desire, the compulsion to eat when I am stressed, is simply to borrow and modify my friend's reply, "Eat? Oh no, I can't possible eat. I'm too stressed right now."  I'll let you know how well it works. ;-) 

My Forever Challenge? Popcorn?!?!

So I have been doing very well with this weight loss approach ("the eating only till I get full" approach). Yesterday my husband and I ate lunch at a Chinese cafe with friends. I ate about a third of my broccoli beef and rice meal, and then I was full. The rest went home with me and will be eaten in the next day or two.  I'm so looking forward to those delicious leftovers.  Yes. That is working out fine and is not hard at all.

Well, last night my husband and I were watching a movie, and he said, "Would you like some popcorn?"  We love to make popcorn. We have an old, old popcorn maker that we bought at a thrift store for $5, and we are getting more than our money's worth from it. We enjoy the popcorn from it much more that microwave popcorn.  The problem? I have no stopping place when I eat popcorn.  My husband make a lot of popcorn last night and I ate my share and more.  I got full and kept on eating simply because there was more popcorn to eat.  Needless to say, my weight was not at 'a new low' this morning when I stepped on the scales. :-////

I have always loved popcorn.  I have often said, "How much popcorn can/will I eat?  However much popcorn there is!" Not great grammar, but you get the idea.  I can/will eat it with or without salt, and butter. I can/will eat it air popped or oil popped. I can/will eat it microwaved or popped in our wonderful old popper. 

Yep. I must admit it. Popcorn is a problem for me. I asked my husband to please make half as much popcorn the next time. I think that will be the best solution for me.  If there is only a small amount of  popcorn available, then I will only be able to eat a small amount! Right? See, problem solved. Unless I decide to make a second 'batch'.   ;-/

My Life Long Dieting Challenge

Another  challenge. This has been a dieting difficulty all my life,  and so far with this particular eating style, it has not been a serious problem. However, the circumstances that set up this challenge for me has not yet arisen. Yet.......

I am a serious stress eater. When I am stressed about something, my desire, my natural instinct is to eat, and eat a lot.

I first realized seriousness of my stress eating when both my parents had stage 4 cancer at the same time. During the months that they were in the hospital together, I thought about food all the time. I was continually planning where and what my next meal would be. I sought out every form of comfort food I could find. During every meal I ate till I was not just full, but stuffed. I had no control at all.

Since that time, I have eaten my way though many stressful experiences. Most of which have been family illnesses. However, the truth is that even after mildly stressful experiences, I often want a hamburger. That is not good.

Conscious eating and stress eating are not compatible. If you are doing one you can not do the other.  So far the conscious eating plan has worked quite well, and even while helping to prepare for our son’s wedding, during the wedding, and after the wedding, I never, not one time, ate beyond the full feeling in my stomach. I consider that a victory, and it gives me hope for being able to control my eating during future stressful moments.

Another Challenge?!?

3. I have read that it is best if we eat 10 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. Before I changed my eating style, I ate fruit at almost every meal, and a couple of servings of vegetables and a salad at lunch and dinner. Now I am eating fewer and smaller servings of fruits and vegetables because I get full. Even though I’m losing weight, my diet might be as nutritious as before. Hmmmmm. For example, today I have eaten no servings of fruits and vegetables. I just know that there is no way I can eat 10 servings a day, especially if a serving is considered to be about a half cup. That would be 5 cups of food. I’m not eating that much food in a day.

This is my solution to the issue. It might not be the best, but it’s all I’ve got right now. No fruits and vegetables all day is not acceptable, so here’s what needs to happen. I must make sure that I include at least one fruit and one vegetable at every meal, even if it’s only a fourth cup. Then I can at least get a few bites of each in before I get full. There ya go. Problem solved.

The Challenges are .......

Because nothing is perfect this side of heaven, and all positives have associated negatives, there are some challenges I face with trying to lose weight with this method.
1. The first and most challenging challenge I face at every meal is knowing when I have had enough to eat, that is, knowing when I am “full”. Previously I didn’t try to determine if I had a full feeling in my tummy to signal me that it was time to stop eating. I just ate until the food on my plate was gone. Now I must pay attention when I am eating to how my tummy feels. There are changes that happen, which turns on the “full” signal. After about 7 weeks of practicing this skill, I know when that signal is about to turn on, and I then begin to wind my meal down to a full stop.  Sometimes I don’t want to stop eating at that moment, but I also now don’t like to eat beyond that full feeling. See!?! It’s working!