Sharpen the Weight Loss Edge Once Again

It has been a while since I posted to this blog. My last post was about my eating experience during my husband's health crisis.  I was able to walk through that difficult time without the stress induced overeating that has been characteristic of my life.  I am so thankful that I was able to emerge from that challenging experience maintaining my conscious eating dietary style.

Since that time, however, I lost some of my edge.  I have not gained weight, but I haven't lost any either.  I've stalled out at a certain weight and been there for about three months. 

I've been thinking about why this may be and decided on one main reason.

Instead of 'eating only till I was full', I began putting on my plate the amount of food I thought I would need to eat.  Then I would continue to eat till it was gone, letting that be my signal for ending my meal rather than the 'full feeling' signal that has been my guide for several months.

I lost sight of the main reason for my success with losing weight thus far.  I took my eyes off the key requirement to conscious eating - paying attention to the full feeling that comes when I eat and letting that be my cue, my signal for ending my meal. 

So I have resolved once again to 'sharpen my edge', and get back into the weight loss battle. One snack, one meal, one day at a time.

No Stress Eating Here....Not This Time!

It has been a few weeks since I last posted.  All is still going well with me, but my husband has been through some difficult and somewhat scary medical situations.  He is fine now, well, almost fine. Soon he will be back up to speed and probably even better than before everything went awry.

A medical crisis for my husband meant a huge amount of stress for me.  When I began this style of eating (conscious eating; stopping when I get full), I wondered if I would be able to maintain it during times of crisis, because historically I have been a huge stress eater.  I would eat everything I could to deal with stress and emotion.  The buzz phrase right now is "eating my feelings". Yep. That would be me. So, how would I handle conscious eating when my stress hormones and emotions are through the roof?

Well, good news. I had no problems, well, almost no problems, eating consciously during this time.  I simply ate till I was full then stopped.  The difficult time came between meals, because I would want to nibble even though I wasn't hungry.  I remember one day when I went to the kitchen pantry, opened the door and stood there about to reach for 'nibbling' food.  I had to say to myself in a rather firm mental voice, "Get out of the kitchen. You are not hungry!"  Yep. And it worked. I left the kitchen and didn't return till it was time to prepare the next meal.

This is working for me. Every day. In every way.  I plan to continue.  Till next time, friends, Remember, if you are full, stop eating. Save the left overs for another meal, or throw them in the trash!

Too Stressed to Eat? I Wish!

I have a precious friend who is one of those naturally thin people. Always has been. Always will be.  Naturally thin.  We were talking about stress one day, and I shared with her the problem I have always had with overeating when I'm stressed or when I've been through something traumatic like the death of a family member.  I remember quite well her reply, "Oh, not me.  When I get stressed, I can't eat." Really. Too stressed to eat.  What a concept! When I get stressed, I want a hamburger, no, a bacon cheeseburger.  Who's with me on this?

I was reminded of our conversation a couple of days ago. In the middle of the afternoon I found myself in the kitchen looking for something to eat.  I'm only allowing myself to eat certain things for snacks between meals. A handful of nuts, a banana, or an apple.  On this day I didn't want any of those things, and I really wasn't hungry.  It had not been long since I had eaten, and I knew hunger was not the reason I was in the kitchen.  I was just stressed for some reason.  I was feeling the stress, not hunger.

This has been a dilemma all my life. I have covered it in previous posts from an emotional angle. I've heard it described as 'eating my feelings'. Obviously as a 'conscious eater' I can't be governed by my feelings when I eat.  I must be guided and controlled simply by whether or not I am truly hungry. 

As I have written about these challenges that are ever present, serving as pot holes and speed bumps on my weight loss journey, I have also tried to write about a strategy that I plan to implement to assist me in dodging these obstacles.  My strategy for this dilemma of the desire, the compulsion to eat when I am stressed, is simply to borrow and modify my friend's reply, "Eat? Oh no, I can't possible eat. I'm too stressed right now."  I'll let you know how well it works. ;-) 

My Life Long Dieting Challenge

Another  challenge. This has been a dieting difficulty all my life,  and so far with this particular eating style, it has not been a serious problem. However, the circumstances that set up this challenge for me has not yet arisen. Yet.......

I am a serious stress eater. When I am stressed about something, my desire, my natural instinct is to eat, and eat a lot.

I first realized seriousness of my stress eating when both my parents had stage 4 cancer at the same time. During the months that they were in the hospital together, I thought about food all the time. I was continually planning where and what my next meal would be. I sought out every form of comfort food I could find. During every meal I ate till I was not just full, but stuffed. I had no control at all.

Since that time, I have eaten my way though many stressful experiences. Most of which have been family illnesses. However, the truth is that even after mildly stressful experiences, I often want a hamburger. That is not good.

Conscious eating and stress eating are not compatible. If you are doing one you can not do the other.  So far the conscious eating plan has worked quite well, and even while helping to prepare for our son’s wedding, during the wedding, and after the wedding, I never, not one time, ate beyond the full feeling in my stomach. I consider that a victory, and it gives me hope for being able to control my eating during future stressful moments.

There's No Way I Can Actually Be Hungry!

Determining when I'm actually hungry is a challenge for me.  There are times when I have this desire to eat and I know that I can't actually be hungry because its only been a couple of hours since I last had a meal.  Sometimes I think my blood sugar may be falling, but when I test it, the result is in normal ranges.  Sometimes I know that I want to eat because I am anxious about something, and on and on. In none of these examples am I actually hungry.  Therefore in none of those examples should I be eating anything, otherwise I'll just be 'feeding' bad habits.

During the last six weeks, we have had a family wedding, and several family gatherings. There have been stressful moments and well as delightful ones. So far, I have continued to 'practice' at every meal. At my son's wedding, I allowed myself a some cake and a couple, no, a few Brazilian candies. But at no time have I had the desire to just eat and eat.

My 'want to's' are gradually changing.  I don't have the desire to eat a big hamburger or steak.  However, I am eating whatever I want for the most part.  Right now my goal is to control how much I am eating, not necessarily what I am eating.  If I want cheese on my sandwich, I'll eat cheese on my sandwich.  If I want bacon and eggs for breakfast, that's what I'll fix.  Soon I'll begin working on lower fat options, but not now.

My plan is working and so I'm going to keep workin' it.

Ok. Here I am. Sitting on the couch eating popcorn. Low fat popcorn, but that's not important. Not really. What is important is the reason why I'm eating. I'm eating to settle down my emotions. Without giving too many details, I found myself feeling very stressed. Once the source of stress was gone, I could not relax until I got something to eat. Grrrrrr.

Yep. I still have eating issues, and as long as I do, I will have weight issues. I know what the solution is. I must find a replacement activity to do to relieve stress that does not involve food. Hmmmmm. What to do?