Sharpen the Weight Loss Edge Once Again

It has been a while since I posted to this blog. My last post was about my eating experience during my husband's health crisis.  I was able to walk through that difficult time without the stress induced overeating that has been characteristic of my life.  I am so thankful that I was able to emerge from that challenging experience maintaining my conscious eating dietary style.

Since that time, however, I lost some of my edge.  I have not gained weight, but I haven't lost any either.  I've stalled out at a certain weight and been there for about three months. 

I've been thinking about why this may be and decided on one main reason.

Instead of 'eating only till I was full', I began putting on my plate the amount of food I thought I would need to eat.  Then I would continue to eat till it was gone, letting that be my signal for ending my meal rather than the 'full feeling' signal that has been my guide for several months.

I lost sight of the main reason for my success with losing weight thus far.  I took my eyes off the key requirement to conscious eating - paying attention to the full feeling that comes when I eat and letting that be my cue, my signal for ending my meal. 

So I have resolved once again to 'sharpen my edge', and get back into the weight loss battle. One snack, one meal, one day at a time.

Just Throw It Away

I was raised with the 'starving children in China'.  Can anyone else relate? Were you made to feel ashamed if you didn't eat everything on your plate? Oh my. If you didn't "clean your plate", then your leftovers will have to be tossed into the trashcan, thereby, causing some child in China to be denied food. Yes. That was me. My wonderful well meaning grandfather that I love dearly was the one who guilted me into eating and eating until my plate was empty and my stomach was too full.

It's understandable, and I don't fault him for it at all. He was a raised in a very poor household, and he was a young father during the depression, trying to care for a wife and small child.  Wasting food, or anything for that matter was considered sinful.  He managed to bestow that same value (for better or worse) on his oldest granddaughter (me).

Therefore, when I go to a restaurant, because I know that I will not be able to eat all of the food I order, I tend to order only things that I can easily carry home to save for later.  For example, I don't order sandwiches because I know that if I have to take part of it home for a later meal, the bread on a sandwich will get soggy. Yuck.

What naturally thin people know is that the starving children in China are not nourished by our leftovers, and throwing away food is not a sin.  They can just do it and attach no emotion whatsoever. They Just Throw It Away.

The Challenges and Rewards Continue.....

My husband and I went out to eat last night. We don't eat out often, so this was a real treat for us.  We went to an Italian restaurant; a place we had never been.  The food was delicious. I ordered veal toscana, which is veal with vegetables smothered in an unbelievably delicious sauce over angel hair spaghetti. The portion size was quite large.  Our meal also came with yummy, yummy, yummy garlic yeast rolls.  Oh my.  What's a girl to do? So much wonderful food. So little room in my tummy. 

I decided to eat slowly, enjoying every bite. It didn't take long. I began to feel full after having eaten only about a quarter of my meal.  Everything within me wanted to keep eating, and truthfully, I did take four or five bites too much, before I was able to 'wrestle' my desires to eat anyway to the ground and ask for a carry out container.

I had to make myself think about the fact that this succulent meal will taste just a good for lunch today as it did last night.  In fact, it will taste better because I won't be full while I'm eating it.  There is enough food left from me to have about 3 more meals. Yum!!!!

Mental gymnastics.  That's it.  It's all about how I allow things food related to be framed in my mind.  I think this is one of the major components to food control in our lives. Anyway I made it through another challenging moment and have delicious leftovers today as a reward!

My Eyes Are Still Bigger Than My Stomach

One of the challenges I am having is very much tied to the 'feeding the hungry children in China' challenge. I am still trying to judge how much food it takes to 'fill me up'. When getting a bowl of chili, for example, one ladle full of chili just doesn't look like enough. So when I add another ladle full then I get full before my bowl is empty and then I am faced with the 'feeding the hungry children' challenge---leaving uneaten food, which is still very hard for me to do.
Today I put only one ladle full of chili in my bowl and ate it. I felt satisfied when I finished. Yea!!!
This is all a process. I am working on two different things at the same time. (1) making my eyes accept the fact that a small serving of anything is enough. (2) leaving uneaten food on my plate when I am full.
I know I can do it. When I have completely conquered these challenges then I will be well on my way to permanent weight loss!!