A Slippery Person---My Grandmother

A month or so ago I wrote about a teaching in Alcoholics Anonymous which advises us (compulsive people) to avoid slippery people, slippery places, and slippery things which can and will slowly, but surely cause us to slide right 'off the wagon' and back to the dessert table every time.

I have been spending a lot of time with my grandmother the last six weeks because she has been very ill. At the moment I am staying with her for a few days, working to get her reestablished at home so that she can once again live alone with the help of a daytime caretaker. My vocabulary is not large or colorful enough to adequately share with you what a wonderful person she is and how much I love her.

I do have a problem, however, when I visit her at her home for an extended period of time. She is indeed, a slippery person in my life. When I am with her, my controlled path of healthy eating slowly gives way, one bite at a time, to consuming or desiring to consume foods that are 'illegal'. It is not that she encourages me to eat 'all the wrong things'. She doesn't even come close to doing that. I think it would take a therapist's skill to peal back all the emotional layers in my life and clarify why my grandmother affects my dietary control that way.

My plans are to leave in a three more days if all goes well with her. Can I stay in complete control this entire time? Truthfully. Most likely not. However, I know that this 'side trip' is temporary and my own home is not a 'slippery place'. So until then, I will do my best to not completely lose control, taking it one snack, one meal, one day at a time.

My New Favorite Way to Cook Squash

I love this new method of preparing squash. Yellow squash is what I used when I prepared this dish last week, but I think you could to this with just about any variety of squash.
In a sprayed frying pan I put a small amount of olive oil, oh, about a couple of tablespoons, cut squash (sliced, cut slices in half or quarters, depending on the size of the squash), 1/2 cup chopped onion (or more if you would like), seasoning (I sprinkled butter flavored vegetable seasoning). Cover and cook over medium to low heat. Stir frequently. Cook about 15 minutes or until the squash is tender. Yuuuummmmmm.

Eating the Low Carb Way

One of the things that made me almost decide against going on this diet was that eating anything I wanted was just sooooo easy! I didn't have to think about carbs or sugars or portions at all. If it sounded good and if it was easy, I made it and ate it! Yep, and I had and still have many extra pounds, high blood pressures, diabetes, acid reflux, and pain in my feet to show for it.

Now things have still changed, but I still go for easy and quick in food preparation. I am not perfect by any means, but I do not want to trade my overeating compulsion for a 'proper' eating obsession. So....all things in moderation.

As I share with you some of the dishes I have made and some of my daughter's creative meal ideas, please keep in mind that we are Texan and we do things simply. I live in a small town in West Texas so the variety of meats, fruits, and vegetables in our stores are not as great as in larger cities. Lisa, living in a metropolitan area, has more food choices and loves to cook with lots of variety. I look forward to her contributions.

Readers, if you have recipes or cooking tips which are beneficial to us 'low carb' people, please feel free to share by way of comments or you can email me and I will paste it into this blog.

Downsizing My Size

It is so great to get on the scales and see a smaller number come up! yep! I am down 18 pounds now!!!
I wish someone one would explain something to me. Ok, this may come under the category of TMI (too much information), but it is necessary for my question. I bathe at night. My habit is to weigh just before I get in the tub and then again after I get out. It always happen. Even though I am dressed or undressed in exactly the same way both times, I always weigh a half pound to one pound more! I just do not understand how getting into a tub of water can make me weigh more. I don't let it bother me. In fact, I'm not sure why I even weigh at that time, but I do. Just habit.

As I have written in previous posts, the number on the scales is not what is most important. The number on the scales will take care of itself when I am not abusing food, when my addition lion is in his cage. I must be eating carefully, with intention, not with compulsion and thoughtlessness. When I do that, then downsizing my size will happen!!!

It has been several days, 10 days in fact, since I have added a post to this blog. My apologies to all of you.
Today I would like to share some thoughts about this diet, this 'no processed carb, no processed sugar, diet. By the way, it is still working for me.....16 pounds lost. Thank you, Thank you, I appreciate your standing ovation.
As I have previously written, I am not a medical professional. I have no formal training in nutrition, and by no means, an expert in dieting and eating healthy. That said. I do have some opinions about this kind of diet.
I have some concerns about this diet, when it is followed to the point of 'perfection'. It is my belief that when God created us, He designed us to be completely vegetarian, vegan, if you will. Scripture shows, that in the Garden of Eden, Adam and Eve did not kill and eat the animals. They ate fruit and vegetables. After the flood, God gave permission for us to eat animals. That said, I am not a vegetarian. However, I do not eat large amounts of meat, as some would to on a no carb diet.
I have also read (no, I don't have the documentation, right now) that too much protein leaches calcium from bones, which can contribute to osteoporosis. Also, people who have a diet high in meat, especially beef, have a higher rate of colon cancer.
Therefore, in my diet, I try to limit my meat intake and eat more vegetable and some fruit. Yes, there are some carbs in fruits and veggies, but they are naturally occurring carbs, making them less of a threat to my blood sugar levels. I stay away from potatoes completely, and don't drink fruit juicts. Too much concentrated sugar.
So, I am doing following this diet in its purest form, and probably never will. However, I am using its basic requirement, and I am winning a healthier body, by losing extra (many exta) pounds!

Post Crisis Overeating

Sometimes the real temptation to use food as a release, as a comfort, as a diversion is not in the midst of a crisis, but rather when the crisis begins to pass. We tend to have pent up emotions as well as fatigue which rises to the surface when the adrenalin of the moment begins to subside.

I was reminded of that today when I walked into the hospital cafeteria and saw the pasteries again. No, I wasn't seriously tempted to 'go astray', but the thoughts that crossed my mind were enough to let me know that I can not let down my guard even a little bit.

Mom, my grandmother, is slowly recovering, slowly getting stronger. The crisis has passed. I am tired physically and emotionally. It would be so easy to give in to the temptation, to just have one cinnamon roll or some other equally delicious but 'evil' dish.

Each and every time we say 'no' to our overeating temptation, we also say 'yes' to being a stronger person, not being driven and controlled by our addictions.

Rough Sledding, No Emotional Eating. So Far

After spending a couple of days at home, I am now back with my grandmother who is still in the hospital. We have had some very 'rough sledding', but right now she seems to be stable. The doctor is challenging her digestive system with liquid feeding down the NG tube in her nose. I told Mom that we are checking to make sure her plumbing system is working.

As I was making the 1 1/2 hour drive from my home to the hospital, I began to realize that during my stay with her, I need to help her begin to understand that she will not be able to go back home and also to understand that there is a time when she will need to quit fighting and allow death to come.
Oh, this will be hard. I think it will be harder than talking about death with my parents. I'm not sure why, but it will.

So far, I have not lost control of my diet. I have done NO emotional eating. My addiction lion is firmly under control. So far. This walk down the path of saying good by to my grandmother is not over, and I may one day suddenly decide to seek comfort in some sugar filled, carb filled foods. I hope not, but you never know. I am not perfect.

Tomorrow I want to talk about what happens next if indeed I do 'fall off the wagon'.