Food: My Drug of Choice, Again? NO!!!

In my last post, I wrote about taking my grandmother, Mom, for a cat scan, ( I think is really called a CT scan), and not being able to eat for 9 1/2 hours. The next segment of this story is that we placed her in the hospital the next day with the diagnosis of a blocked small intestine. Oh, she was so miserable, so very sick. She was in pain and she was throwing up bile that came straight from her small intestine. If any of you have had a similar problem, you know exactly what she was throwing up. If you haven't, then you don't want to know. Just understand that it was horrible. Horrible for her and for me as well. I generally have a strong stomach, but not during this. Oh, no.
Mom did so very little complaining. She is the strongest person and the most emotionally healthy person I have ever known. I will probably write more about her in my other blog, "When Families Have Cancer". In the throes of the worst pain, she still complained very little, but she would just lie in bed and whimper. Oh, my goodness, that was heart wrenching.
I stayed by her side as the nurses attempted to insert a tube into her nose that would go down into her stomach. This tube would suck out the bile in her stomach, reducing the nausea and vomiting. It hurt her so badly and the attempts were unsuccessful. They did get it into her stomach, but she was strangling on the tube. She just couldn't breath so they took it out. The nurses decided that the benefits to her would be outweighed by the risks. Oh, my heart was breaking. Putting my little 96 year old grandmother through this was almost more than I could take.
When I did have the opportunity to go to the hospital cafeteria, I found hamburgers, fried chicken strips, fried catfish, desserts, and more 'illegal' foods. The salad bar was not bad, but not great. Hmmmm Yes, I had a perfect excuse to grab a hamburger. After all, the last couple of days had been very rough. I deserved it, don't you think?
It was somewhat tempting, but because of previous food victories, I kept my addition lion on a tight leash and went straight to the salad bar! Thank you for your applause!
I refuse to allow food to be my 'comfort' during this time. It really isn't, you know. Food does not really provide comfort. Just like other drugs and alcohol, it may provide a temporary release, a temporaty escape, but afterwards, after the hamburger and french fries are gone, after the chocolate frosted brownie with pecans has been 'inhaled', you will feel just as bad or worse that you did before. More on this to come in another post.
The good news: yesterday afternoon Mom seemed to 'turn a corner' and is doing much better. If this progress continues, she should be able to go home in a few days and continue her life as before, being the light and joy in the lives of all who know her.