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Thursday, September 27, 2007

I am such a visual person when it comes to food. My temptations to eat wrong things are much stronger when I can see the 'offending food'. Because I know this, I try to have tunnel vision when it comes to food. I try not to allow myself to gaze longingly at foods that I love, but do not fit in my eating plan. But you know there are times when I get caught off guard.
I walked into the hospital cafeteria this morning, having already decided what I was going to have for breakfast, bacon and 2 eggs, over medium. Had I not already made this decision, I could have easily been derailed by the first food I laid eyes on--breakfast rolls, covered in caramel and pecans and frosted cinniman rolls. Oh my, they looked good. No, they looked delicious. Yes, after just a second or two, I went straight to the grill and ordered my eggs. No, lingering by the sugary foods. Not allowed.
For me, it is the unexpected foods that pose the biggest temptations. I can decide ahead of time and 'steel' myself when I know what foods I will be faced with. It is the 'suddenly in your face' moments that are almost my undoing. At those times, I allow myself no time to waver, no time to negotiate, no opportunity to say yes. I quickly turn away and stay focused on what I know is right, what I know is best for me- staying true to my diet and healthy lifestyle.
These moments are not easy, but I am always glad when I have made the best decision, the right decision.

Monday, September 24, 2007

As We Become Stronger, Our Temptations Grow Weaker

I am writing this post sitting on my cot next to my grandmother's hospital bed. After staying at home for a couple of days, I returned to the hospital to continue caring for her. She is so precious and there is no where in the world that I would rather be than right here. She is continuing to improve, but at the same time seems weaker. Sigh.

The food selections here at the hospital are still not great, but I am confident that I will be able to find something to eat that will keep me on the 'straight and narrow' of my diet. When I went home I found that I had lost 3 pounds last week!!! Yea!!

Trying to control overeating urges is such a challenge. It can be so difficult, and at times, it seems impossible. The truth is, however, that it is not impossible. Easy? No, of course not. If it were easy, we would all be within our proper weight ranges, because none of us enjoys looking and feeling the way we do. Right?

How do we ever get our eating under control? These are my thoughts on the matter. They seem to work for me and perhaps they will help you.

It all begins with a commitment. Preferably a commitment that is made when you are not in the midst of a crisis, especially an emotional one. It is seldom that any kind of commitment made during a turbulent time in our lives actually 'sticks'. I think that is because the commitment is made from an emotional need, rather than being a mental decision.

Once a commitment is made to begin a diet or eating plan, you must not wait. The next time you see food, you must decide right then whether or not to eat it. Don't wait till next week, or till you get to the store to buy the food you will need. You must start immediately. Waiting will make you waver in your commitment.

Each and every time you eat, review your commitment in your mind. You may need to, once again, think about all the reasons you are wanting to lose weight. Think about the benefits that having a 'down sized' body will bring. Allow those thoughts to give you motivation as you chose what you will eat.

If you are an emotional overeater as I am, if an emotional crisis will make you run for the fried chicken, mashed potatoes and gravy every time, then take heart. Work on your commitment to a healthy way of eating when you are not in crisis. Say no to the sugar and carbs when there is no emotional reason to say yes. Say no when you are at a church dinner and the food is so close and so tempting. Say no when you are at a wedding and the groom's cake is your favorite flavor. Say no when it would be easier to pop a pizza in the oven rather than make a salad.

By saying no to all those temptations during the 'easy times', you gain strength. I believe that strength is stored up, in your heart, perhaps in your mind, I am not sure. I just know that strength can grow. Every time you make the right food choices, you grow stronger in your commitment and the temptation grows weaker.

That same strength that is drawn on when an emotional crisis hits and you want to, when you think about, when you know you deserve to eat everything in sight.

I believe that is what happened to me last week when I admitted Mom into the hospital. Physically and emotionally I was having a very difficult time and it would have been so easy to toss everything out the window, and eat to my heart's and belly's content. I didn't do that, however, because I had some 'stored up' strength from previous temptation victories.

Please do not think that I have totally conquered and will never again be tempted to overeat. Oh, no. As I said at the beginning of this blog, I am a fellow struggler and always will be. However, I must say that now I have hope. Hope of one day being able to wear 'skinny' clothes. Hope of being able to look in the mirror and like what I see. Hope of not suffering the effects of diabetes. Hope of, once again, being a healthy size.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Food: My Drug of Choice, Again? NO!!!

In my last post, I wrote about taking my grandmother, Mom, for a cat scan, ( I think is really called a CT scan), and not being able to eat for 9 1/2 hours. The next segment of this story is that we placed her in the hospital the next day with the diagnosis of a blocked small intestine. Oh, she was so miserable, so very sick. She was in pain and she was throwing up bile that came straight from her small intestine. If any of you have had a similar problem, you know exactly what she was throwing up. If you haven't, then you don't want to know. Just understand that it was horrible. Horrible for her and for me as well. I generally have a strong stomach, but not during this. Oh, no.
Mom did so very little complaining. She is the strongest person and the most emotionally healthy person I have ever known. I will probably write more about her in my other blog, "When Families Have Cancer". In the throes of the worst pain, she still complained very little, but she would just lie in bed and whimper. Oh, my goodness, that was heart wrenching.
I stayed by her side as the nurses attempted to insert a tube into her nose that would go down into her stomach. This tube would suck out the bile in her stomach, reducing the nausea and vomiting. It hurt her so badly and the attempts were unsuccessful. They did get it into her stomach, but she was strangling on the tube. She just couldn't breath so they took it out. The nurses decided that the benefits to her would be outweighed by the risks. Oh, my heart was breaking. Putting my little 96 year old grandmother through this was almost more than I could take.
When I did have the opportunity to go to the hospital cafeteria, I found hamburgers, fried chicken strips, fried catfish, desserts, and more 'illegal' foods. The salad bar was not bad, but not great. Hmmmm Yes, I had a perfect excuse to grab a hamburger. After all, the last couple of days had been very rough. I deserved it, don't you think?
It was somewhat tempting, but because of previous food victories, I kept my addition lion on a tight leash and went straight to the salad bar! Thank you for your applause!
I refuse to allow food to be my 'comfort' during this time. It really isn't, you know. Food does not really provide comfort. Just like other drugs and alcohol, it may provide a temporary release, a temporaty escape, but afterwards, after the hamburger and french fries are gone, after the chocolate frosted brownie with pecans has been 'inhaled', you will feel just as bad or worse that you did before. More on this to come in another post.
The good news: yesterday afternoon Mom seemed to 'turn a corner' and is doing much better. If this progress continues, she should be able to go home in a few days and continue her life as before, being the light and joy in the lives of all who know her.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

No food, No Problem!

What a long day it was. It was a day that made me very aware of how my current eating plan has benefited my blood sugar levels. This alone is reason enough to not go back to my old way of eating.
My 96 year old grandmother, Mom, is sick. She has not been feeling well for several days and her caretaker called me. I set up a doctor's appointment for her and drove to her house which is about 112 miles from my home. I spent the night at her house, got up early the next morning, and fixed breakfast for both of us. I ate a boiled egg and some cottage cheese.
We ate about 8:00 that morning. Her doctor's appointment was scheduled for 10:00. After his examination, he wanted her to have a cat scan that afternoon. We went straight to the hospital so that the test preparations could begin.
Because of this there was no opportunity for me to each lunch. The 'preps' for the cat scan did not go well at first because Mom threw up the solution they asked her to drink. They gave her some medication, and she was able to drink that awful stuff and keep it down. Yea!
This hold up delayed the test for about 2 hours. I still had no food. We did not get home until after 5:00 P.M., which meant that I went over 10 hours without eating.
As a result of being on a no processed carb diet, I could go without food for this length of time without having a 'hypoglycemic moment'. My blood sugar stayed level enough that I did not 'crater' and get the shakes or become light headed. I was hungry and yes, my stomach did growl, but it was not a problem. I could handle a growling stomach.
In my previous high carb life, the day would have been a disaster. I would have had a major hypoglycemic attack which would have not been a good thing, especially with me trying to take care of Mom.
I had read that one of the benefits of this kind of diet was the stabilization of blood sugar which sounded great to me. However, having experienced it personally made me appreciate this eating plan even more.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Another Pound Gone!!! WoooooHoooooo!!!

Another pound gone!!!!! WoooHoooo!!! Thank you! Thank you! I appreciate your standing ovation!

Yes, it feels good. No, it feels great to see the numbers on the scales get smaller and smaller. I still have much more weight to lose of course, but progress is being made!

When your weight puts you in the category of being obese, then a larger amount of weight must be lost before people around you begin to notice.

For example, a weight loss of 10 pounds on someone who started at 120 pounds will show more than the same weight loss on someone who started at 200.

My weight loss at this time is about 13 1/2 pounds. Not enough for most people to notice. Rather than letting that discourage me, I choose to take the focus off what others may or may not say. I choose to focus on the following statement:

Every 5 pounds I lose shows more than the 5 pounds before it!

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Low and No Carb Eating

I thought I would share with you some of the 'legal' foods that my husband and I have enjoyed these last few weeks. Living in a small town makes it somewhat difficult to find the variety of low/no carb foods. We just do the best we can.
We are eating many more fresh fruits and vegetables. We are eating different kinds of leaf lettuces, cucumbers, celery, broccoli, carrots, onions and tomatoes, to name a few. We also enjoy fresh spinach and squash. We love fresh apples, pears, grapes, bananas, cantelope, peaches, and oranges. We have to be careful not to over eat some of the fruits because of the sugar content.
We are not drinking fruit juices for the same reason.
I have cooked various kinds of beans, but our favorite continues to be black beans.
We just finished eating all the venison left from last year's deer season. :( We had not bought beef in months, but now we will begin once again to eat beef. However, at the current prices we will not eat a lot of beef.
I buy frozen chicken breasts and cook those in a variety of ways. We love baked salmon, seasoned with soy sauce.
We are eating cottage cheese with fruit for breakfast or bacon and boiled eggs.
We also eat a variety of cheeses.
It is all working because now I have lost 12 pounds!!!!!! Thank you for your applause.

Friday, September 14, 2007

No Self Pity Here

It was in 1992, I think. Yes, it was in January (as per New Years Resolution), 1992, that I joined Overeaters Anonymous. When I joined I immediately committed to living as a recovering compulsive overeater and daily, sometimes hourly, sought to refrain from abusing food.
I mentioned in a previous post about going to teacher's meetings, church fellowships, and other such activities and not eating anything, just drinking a diet soda or water.
Right from the 'get go' I decided that I would not allow self pity to be a part of my recovery. I would not look longly at someone else's plate and wish for what they were eating. I would not talk about the things I could not eat. I would not try to make anyone feel guilty for eating 'forbidden' foods in my presence.
When I was in a situation that involved those foods, I decided to concentrate just on the people I was with and enjoy their friendship and fellowship rather than putting on a long, "poor me" face.
Yes, it was a conscious decision. It didn't just happen. I had to make it happen. There were times when self pity would have been so easy, and everyone would have understood why I would be 'blue'. After all not being able to eat that cheesecake is kinda sad.
However, choosing to be positive rather than negative about my addiction, helped me to concentrate on the things I was gaining, by losing weight.
Life is so much better when you choose to be optimistic rather than pessimistic. Don't you agree?

Saturday, September 8, 2007

What is "Will Power"?

There was a period of about 5 years when I ate no, I repeat no, processed sugar at all. Not one bite. No cake, no brownies, no pies, no cookies, no candy, no oatmeal (tastes awful without sugar). No sugar at all.
I remember going to church fellowships, teachers meetings, etc, and drinking a glass of diet cola or water. Because everything served has sugar, I sipped my drink, and watched others eat.
Invariably someone would ask, "Are you going to eat something?" My response was always, "No, I'm not eating today. I don't eat sugar anymore."
With a look of amazement on her face, the next response was always, "You have amazing will power. I could never do that. I just can't pass up sweets."
The truth of the moment was just the opposite. It is the person who may not be able to pass up sweets, but can stop eating them after a serving or two that truly has will power. Because I have no will power, because once I can't stop eating sweets once I start, then I must avoid them all together.
Yes. For me there is no such thing as a bite or two of candy, a serving of chocolate cate, or a single piece of pie. Soooooo I do not eat these things at all.
I do not feel sorry for myself either. That is for another post.
I hope you will have a weight loss victory today, if you need one.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips, oh my!

It has been several days since my last post. Life has been busy. My husband, Rick and I kept our twin nieces (age 8) over the Labor Day weekend. They are precious little girls who can keep you very busy. We enjoy keeping them.
I told their mother (my sister) that since we have been on our diet, our supply of snacks was very limited. Therefore, she sent snacks with the girls. Sweet, sugary snacks or salty, carb filled snacks. I knew and was prepared for the entrance of the dangerous foods into my kitchen. Yes, they were dangerous to me, because any one of them cause me to loose control of my 'lion', my eating addiction. I was prepared for everything except the Sour Cream and Onion Potato Chips! Just the sight of the package bothered me. It was almost overwhelming.
Almost.....but not quite. My strategy was to keep them out of sight and that truly helped. The girls knew where they were, and I knew where they were, but by keeping then put away, I could better exercise my 'out of sight, out of mind' strategy. It worked! I did not even come close to eating even one chip! Another battle won!!!!!

Oh, yes, I am now down 10 1/2 pounds!!! Thank you, thank you for your applause.
I am now at one of those 'milestone' weights. You know, a number that ends with a '0' or a '5'. Yep, at least in my mind, those are the more important numbers. They are like another step down. I love it when I reach those numbers.

One of the things I have learned in Mary Kay is the importance of having a goal. It is by reaching and stretching to reach a goal that we grow personally. Here is my weight loss goal. One of the at least.

In January we will have a Mary Kay Conference. It is an annual event only for Mary Kay Directors called "Leadership". This year the conference will be held in Houston and because I am a new director, it will be my first Leadership event to ever attend. I am so very excited about being a part of this amazing conference. We will have evenings during this conference when formal attire will be required.
It is my goal to be able to wear a particular dress which is at this moment tooooooooo small. I love this dress, but have only worn it one time....to my daughter's wedding 5 years ago. In order to wear it again, I must lose about 30 more pounds! I have approximately 4 months to reach this goal and I am very determined to do so.

Trust me I will keep you 'posted' on my progress. OK. Pun intended.