A Sigh of Satisfaction

I  found an article on the Fox News website a few days ago about a lady, a celebrity, who has lost about 60 pounds.  In the article she shared that her niece had helped her learn how to eat mindfully, recognizing her body's 'full' signal, and then knowing its time to push her plate away and stop eating.  This was interesting me because conscious/mindful eating has been the focus of my plan for losing weight.
An involuntary sigh is your body's indicator for fullness, she stated.  Hmmmm. An involuntary sigh. I had never heard that before. However, after a little research, there are some articles about our bodies giving us the 'I'm full" signal by letting out a sigh of satisfaction. So I'm going to begin paying attention more to my body when I eat and see if that's true. A sigh of satisfaction. 

Sharpen the Weight Loss Edge Once Again

It has been a while since I posted to this blog. My last post was about my eating experience during my husband's health crisis.  I was able to walk through that difficult time without the stress induced overeating that has been characteristic of my life.  I am so thankful that I was able to emerge from that challenging experience maintaining my conscious eating dietary style.

Since that time, however, I lost some of my edge.  I have not gained weight, but I haven't lost any either.  I've stalled out at a certain weight and been there for about three months. 

I've been thinking about why this may be and decided on one main reason.

Instead of 'eating only till I was full', I began putting on my plate the amount of food I thought I would need to eat.  Then I would continue to eat till it was gone, letting that be my signal for ending my meal rather than the 'full feeling' signal that has been my guide for several months.

I lost sight of the main reason for my success with losing weight thus far.  I took my eyes off the key requirement to conscious eating - paying attention to the full feeling that comes when I eat and letting that be my cue, my signal for ending my meal. 

So I have resolved once again to 'sharpen my edge', and get back into the weight loss battle. One snack, one meal, one day at a time.

Shopping In My Own Closet - A Big Win

It was pure fun.  It had been years since I had even thought about trying on those clothes.  You know which ones.  The ones gathering dust in my closet because they have been too small. Too tight to button, zip, pull up, or pull over.  You might have some of those types of clothes also.  I have called them my "hope so" clothes, but a year ago I began to think of them as my "probably not" clothes.  Now they are my "more than likely" clothes.  Some of them are currently my "hip! hip! hooray! They fit!" clothes.

Trying them on was loads of fun. Especially making trip after trip to the room where my husband was sitting to model yet another outfit that once again fits great and is to be moved into my current wardrobe. 

Yea! Another win that I am enjoying because I have lost.

It All Worked Out Just Fine

So today my husband and I went to an Italian restaurant after church. This restaurant serves absolutely delicious meals. We decided to order a pizza - meat lovers with black olives and mushrooms. Yum.

While we were waiting, our server brought us some soft, warm, to-die-for, garlic bread. Two servings of them. Oh my. I knew if I ate the bread, I would not be hungry for pizza, and I really, really wanted to enjoy eating the pizza.

What to do? What to do? I knew if I took that first bite of the bread, there would no stopping until I had eaten the whole thing. Well, I did it. I took one bite and then another and another. I nibbled till it was gone. Yep. I did.  That first bite.......was at the same time too many and not enough.

When the pizza came, I honestly didn’t know how much I would be able to eat.  It looked and smelled wonderful. I chose the smallest slice of pizza on the tray, and started eating. Oh my, the flavor did not disappoint. It was great. Oh, man. After a few bites, I realized that I was already getting full. I ate about three quarters of my slice and moved my plate to the end of the table.

We asked for a ‘to go’ box, and as soon as my husband finished eating, we put the left over pizza in it. Enough pizza for at least two meals.

Yeah! Victory! I ate my bread and some pizza too, without the guilt feelings of overeating.

30 Pounds! 30 Pounds! I’ve Lost 30 Pounds!

Yes! Yes! Yes!!! It does feel good to know that my efforts at every meal are paying off. To see the number on the scales go down slowly, but steadily, is very rewarding. I seem to be losing about five pounds a month. Yes, that is a slow rate compared to many other diets, but I’m fine with it. My body has a chance to adjust to the changes that are a result of being a smaller (ok, less heavy) weight. My blood pressure is gradually getting better, my diabetes is more controlled, and my knees don’t hurt as much, to name just a few of the changes. A rapid weight loss would not allow for those gradual adjustments.

Anyway, I’m happy. Very happy.

The New Rule Is........

That was one of my ways of letting my children know that something needed to change as they were growing up.  I would say, "The new rule is...." and I immediately had their attention.  Most of the time whatever needed to change got changed once I made that declaration.

So now I continue to use that phrase with myself (not my husband) when a change needs to be made, and most of the time, I have my immediate attention and whatever needs to be changed gets changed.  Well, not always, you understand, but most of the time.

So to myself and my readers, here is the new rule.......whenever you lose weight......don't allow yourself to gain it back. Period. No reason for overeating is good enough to make you once again face the battle you have just fought.

My desire is to fight this battle, to walk this path, to win this war for the last time.  Never again do I want to have to get out my 'fat' clothes and wear them. Never again do I want to wonder if I'm crowding the poor soul sitting next to me on an airplane. Never again do I want to feel self conscious in a group picture because I'm the heaviest one there.  No way. No how, Once I reach my goal (and I have a loooonnnnng way to go) I'm not going back.

Instead I want to look forward to all the things I will have won by losing all this weight.  I think I will write a few posts about some of the things we can look forward to winning when we have lost our extra weight.

25 Pounds! 25 Pounds! I’ve Lost 25 Pounds!

Yep! Another milestone reached! I’m so excited! It’s been just over a month since I reached my 20 pound loss, 36 days to be exact. About 1 pound/week. That’s ok with me  Because I am now in the senior citizen category, I don’t need this weight loss to be quick.  I want my body to have time to adjust to the changes as my weight goes down.  My blood pressure is improving already. In a few days I’ll have regular blood work done and I’ll let you know if my numbers (cholesterol, triglycerides, A1C, etc) are better.

For today, I’m going to bask in the glory of another milestone reached, and go shopping for clothes. In a smaller size, of course! I love winning when I have lost!

Another Win Because I Have Lost

Today I wore a pair of capri  pants that I had not worn in a couple of years.  I put them on and not only did they look good, but they felt good as well.  Now that's another win!

No One. Not One Single Person Has Noticed That I Have Lost Weight!

That's right. I'm almost 23 pounds down now and no one has commented on my weight loss, well, except my wonderful husband.  He's been great.  However, you'd think that someone else might notice!  Is anyone with me on this? Are you having the same experience/frustration?

The truth is though that I'm not frustrated about it. I'm aware of it, of course, but not upset or even surprised.

First of all, people are involved in their own lives. Yes, that makes us sound very self centered and self focused, and it's true.  We're not always quickly aware of changes in the lives of our friends and even family, unless those changes are very noticeable or significant, which brings me to my second point.

Secondly, the more weight you have to lose, the more more you have to lose before it become noticeable to other people. Yes, I wrote that right.  Because I my current weight loss only lost about a third of my goal, it is not great enough right now for friends and family to notice.

Thirdly, That's really ok.  I have decided to not let it bother me, because I know that one day my weight loss will be obvious enough that everyone who knows me, because I'll look great.  You see, the truth is that every five pounds of weight loss will show more that the five pounds before it.  So I'm just weighting (waiting).  In the meantime. I'm feeling better and enjoying wearing clothes that I knew were too tight just a couple of weeks ago.

So take heart, my fellow weight loss travelers.  Our affirmation does not ultimately come from others anyway.  It comes from within ourselves, because we know, we know, we know that we are on the right path and our rewards are personal.  No one else is responsible for them.  Let's keep on traveling!

One and Two

As I mentioned in my last post, in my opinion there are two essential parts to being successful with conscious eating, or 'eating the way slender people eat'.  Those of us who are trying to eat consciously must consciously be aware of both parts at every meal and every snack.  Here goes:

1. Eating consciously means eating only until you are full.  I have had friends say to me, "But I don't always know when I'm full."  I understand that statement and most of my life have lived by the "I'm eating till my plate is empty" model, because I don't recognize this full feeling. 
     The truth is that our bodies will give us a signal for when enough food has been eaten during a meal.  In order to eat only until we are full, we must learn to recognize and acknowledge that signal no matter how much delicious food is still on our plate.  We must be willing to admit that it's there, even when we want to ignore the signal. 

2. Again, eating consciously requires that once you feel the signal for fullness that your body gives you, eating must stop.  In my opinion this is the hardest part, because sometimes we just don't want to stop.  Oh, man. There's still baked potato with all the trimmings on my plate. There's only half a slice of garlic toast left; surely I can eat that. That won't be much. In order to do this with integrity, you must stop eating once you feel that full signal.  If the food left on your plate can't be saved for whatever reason, it goes in the trash.  That's hard if you were raised with the starving children in China, as I was.  However, no matter what, conscious eating is not conscious eating, and you will never be slender, unless you are willing to throw good food in the trash.  It is a difficult, but critical lesson to learn.

Yes. This is hard.  But you know, so is living with knee problems, diabetes, back issues, heart problems, and a myriad of other health issues that are caused by being overweight.  Those of us who live our lives with too much girth can give you a list of ways that said girth has affected the way we live.  We choose our challenges. We choose our rewards.  Let's choose wisely. 

This War is Not Won in a Day, a Week, or Even a Lifetime, But It Is Worth Fighting

There are some problems that are easily solvable. You can flip a switch, replace a valve, write a letter, make a phone call, or any number of easily done things, and boom; that problem is solved. Some problems/challenges/wars are harder to solve and take longer to get the job done. Those might require a series of battles that have to be met head-on and dealt with on a number of occasions. These might include health issues, relationship issues, as well as work issues or a variety of problems.

Those of us who have weight issues have a different sort of problem.  This type of challenge is more akin to drug and alcohol addiction than anything else, in my opinion.  This problem/war lasts a lifetime and is never, ever won.  However, please do not be discouraged.  It is a war worth fighting.  Getting control of my eating approximately 3 months ago has made a huge difference in the way I feel, as well as the way I now view food. It has also altered my eating habits.

I realize that eating like a thin person might one day make me a thin person.  Won't that be awesome! I further realize that if I quit eating like a thin person, I will never, ever have a chance of being thin. 

If anyone reading this blog, (and I thank you for being one of my readers) can relate to my food battles, please take heart.  This takes work. No one can force you into anything when it comes to food.  You must decide for yourself and for your own reasons.  Please consider stepping into the eating world of thin people.  Eat what you want, but eat only when you are hungry, and eat only till you feel full.  That's it!

20 Pounds! 20 Pounds! I've Lost 20 Pounds!!!

Yes, a milestone has been reached.  In terms of weight loss, those numbers that end in a 5 or 0 are significant.  It has taken me about 12 weeks to reach this level. I can do the math and figure out how much longer it will take me to reach my overall goal, but right now I just want to enjoy the moment and be reminded that consistently doing good things in small ways, in seemingly insignificant ways eventually leads to large, significant differences in our lives.

Yes. Yes. Thank you for your congratulations.

Now, on to the next 20 pounds. I got this.

This Morning’s Fun

Definition of fun when I’m losing weight: trying on clothes that were too small a couple of months ago and finding that now they fit! Yep. I actually had a larger choice of outfits to wear to church this morning. Standing in front of a mirror, changing from one outfit to another, and deciding which one I wanted to wear to church was pure fun! Winning by losing!

Oh, Yea. One More Challenge

There is another challenge I have had to face since making the decision to change my eating style. I almost forgot about it because, well, truthfully it’s not much of a problem right now.  I will never say that I have conquered this or any other challenge, because thinking I have victory when it comes to food, is for me the moment when defeat becomes a reality. 

4. In previous days, I would nibble and “graze” while cooking meals. Then I would eat the meal, and then nibble and “graze” again while cleaning up afterwards. It was almost like I was eating three meals instead of one. That is an eating problem.

      During approximately the last 8 weeks, I have gained more and more control over this nibbling, grazing challenge. I know that if I eat anything just before a meal, then I will actually be eating less during the meal, because I will get full faster.  I don’t want that to happen, so I “save room” for my meal by not eating anything beforehand. This alone has made a huge difference is my weight.  

All Worthwhile Challenges Have Worthwhile Rewards

     My last three posts have been about challenges I face as I continue to practice and continue to learn this new eating skill.  As I move my writing past the challenges, I am reminded that all worthwhile challenges also come with worthwhile rewards.  Hence, "Winning by Losing" is an appropriate name for my blog.  Hmmmm. So what are some of the rewards that emerge from facing and conquering these challenges?

1. One of the first things I have noticed is that my food 'wants' have changed.  Eating a large hamburger and french fries does not sound good to me at all.  Perhaps a small, kid sized hamburger might occasionally be appealing. (Notice: perhaps, might, and occasionally?)
     I continue to think about food a lot, but not in the same way as before.  For example, I know what we are having for dinner - turkey chili, home made.  However, I am not thinking about having a giant bowl of chili at all.  I just want a small bowl with a small serving, and I will be very happy.  I plan to enjoy every bite, because it does taste great (yes, I made it).  However, once I am full, I will stop eating, and what's left of my chili will either be covered up and saved for another meal, or will go in the trash.  That's it.  Done. And I'm happy.  That, my friends, is a reward.     

By the way, my weight is now down 16 pounds since I started on this particular leg of my weight loss journey.

Delay, not Deprived

It has been about six weeks since my Middle of the Night Epiphany. Since that time I have 'practiced' the skill of stopping my meal immediately when I begin to feel full every time I eat.  I have also not allowed myself to just nibble between meals, when I am not hungry. Instead I eat fruit or nuts if I really need something for a snack. As a result I have lost almost 13 pounds and am enjoying being able to wear clothes that were too snug.

There are moments every day when I have to say to myself, "NO!", as I reach for another bite of something at the end of a meal or between meals.  Long held habits are hard to break.

Often at the end of a meal, I will look st my plate and think, "But the food that's still here is yummy, and I don't want to stop!" Yea. Hard.

I was sharing with a friend about how I am changing my way of eating, and she asked me if I ever feel deprived when I don't get to eat all that I want.  Well, my answer to that has to be yes, but I don't let it bother me.  Sometimes I can put my leftover yummy food back and eat it later.

If my husband and I go out to eat, I may order a full meal and eat only a fourth of it.  I'll carry the rest home and get at least two more meals from it.  In that way I don't feel deprived, because I know that I'll be able to eat the food eventually.

My Exercise of Choice

The doctors have talked to me about exercising for decades, and I have indulged in that activity from time to time. It has always been a passing fad, something that captures my attention for a while, then graduated fades off my radar.

All that changed about two years ago. To prepare for my knee replacement surgery, I began to swim laps in the heated pool at the Wellmess Center. I had not ever swam seriously in my entire life, but I found a love for being in the water.

Two years later, I'm still swimming. I now swim in a larger pool at a gym, and my love for the water continues. My swimming time is an hour and my distance is now 1200 yards, the length of 12 football fields.

Swimming is simultaneously relaxing and challenging. I can push myself to swim stronger and faster, and at the same time feel the tension leave my body. Extra benefits. The main benefit is that I burn 800 calories for every hour that I swim!

I hope to be able to swim the rest of my life.

Water, Water, More Water.

Really? Did I hear that right? Surely not. I don't think I could ever drink that much water. Those were my initial thoughts. However, recently I decided to give it a try and see if it makes a difference.

You see a couple of years ago a nutritionist told me that every day I should drink one ounce of water for every two pounds of my body weight. Ok. At my current weight that's a lot of water.

About a week ago I finally got a container large enough to hold my daily allowance of water. Ok. It's lass than a gallon, but still an incredible amount of water to drink every day. My goal it to drink the entire bottle of water every day, and I get pretty close.

Pros: being fully hydrated makes me feel better. I like taking a drink of water first thing in the morning, because it helps to wake me up. My digestive system is operating more smoothly and regularly.

Cons: I make frequent trips to the bathroom. Frequent. At this point drinking this much water has not aided in any weight loss. However, I remain hopeful.

Because of the 'pros' and in spite of the 'cons', I will continue to drink, drink, and drink more water. I'll keep you posted.

First Comes the Decision, Next Comes Commitment

Losing weight begins with a decision. Nothing more, nothing less. I have never had significant weight loss without first making a decision to do so. It rarely happens by accident unless other health issues are involved.  However critical making a decision is, it is only the first step.

After the decision is made, making a commitment to staying the course, no matter what, is crucial. If my commitment to my weight loss decision is not strong, then I can (and have been) easily led astray by any and every excuse possible. I'll lose focus on the clarity of my once razor sharp goal and it becomes hazy. In no time at all, I'm no longer on the path toward my weight loss goal. Nope. I'm headed through the field, making a u-turn back to the land of my weight wilderness.

So what about now? How strong is my commitment to my weight loss decision? I'll discuss that in my next post

Why? What Do I Get Out of All This Work?

One of the things required during the process of losing weight is focus. I can be easily distracted by a bag of chips (I'm only going to eat a handful!), or an extra large bowl of popcorn! Sugar is still a problem for me, but because of my diabetes diagnosis, I seldom eat anything with refined white sugar.

When those moments of distraction come, and I've eaten too much of something, or I've mindlessly eaten a bite here or there while I'm cooking or putting away leftovers after a meal, it's because I've lost focus. My why's and what's have moved out of my tunnel vision, and food has taken its place.

In my next post, I'll write about my why's and what's.